The Buchtelite

Issue date: 4/29/08 Section: Arts & Life

Ms. DoRight,



I've recently started dating this guy, and things have been great, until the other night. We were at a bar downtown with some friends when he had to go to the restroom. He was gone for 15 minutes, and I started to worry about him. When he came back, his face was flushed and he asked if we could leave after I ate. I told him he could go, and that I would just get a ride to his place later. When I got there, he was in bed with a trashcan next to him, but he said he hadn't been throwing up. I don't know what was up with him, but I'm starting to wonder if he has a bathroom problem. What do I do?



Thanks,



Potty Troubles



Potty Troubles,



Someone coming back from the men's room with a flushed faced does not automatically indicate a bathroom trouble. There's a chance he was having a good time. A person can only do so much in 15 minutes.

If this is a common occurrence, you should be concerned about his health. Irritable Bowel Syndrome does not discriminate.

IBS, it should be noted, is incurable. However, your romantic relationship can still be saved as long your boyfriend makes an attempt to treat his IBS.

If gone untreated, IBS can result in louder and more embarrassing borborygmus-the rumbling noises your stomach makes. If you say borborygmus enough times, you will realize it's an onomatopoeic word. Try it; it's almost as fun as extreme IBS.

For some reason, people are often embarrassed about their bowel movements, especially if they have them at the drop of the hat.

There is no reason for this. It's time for a revolution.

Poop.

There, I said it.

It's a word your boyfriend should learn.

If we can't say the things that really matter to each other, what can we say?

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